One of the things I appreciate are old books; I often imagine
whose hands actually held the books that are found and go into a world of which I have
grown fond of… Upon my research of old
dusty things, I came across this article that talks about a book (J. S. (John Shirley),
fl. 1680-1702) that has found its way on a shelf.
In one of the London bookshops a traveler discovered a
little, yellow, timeworn book, the third edition of which was printed in 1691.
On the title pages is the name in ornate script, “The Accomplished Ladies Rich
Closet of Rarities; or, the Ingenuous Gentlewomen and Servant Maids Delightful
Companion”.
Ladies, Learn, Ponder, and Digest These “Rich Rarities”
Discovery of a Quaint Volume in a London Book Shop Gives Various
Rules of an Ancestral Flavor for “Accomplished Ladies”.
Besides wonderful prescriptions for
the healing of various maladies, and recipes for the dainties of the time, it
contains counsel for the conduct of a “Young Gentlewoman” from early childhood
to womanhood, covering points of etiquette and deportment, as well as the
graver matters of daughterly and wifely duty.
The chapter on table manners is
delightfully phrased, the quaint English recalling Chaucer’s eulogium of the “Nunne
Who was also a Prioress” in the Prologue to the Canterbury Tales. It shows
vividly the contrast between the customs of to-day and those of two centuries
ago: Being at the Table in your due place, observe to keep your body strait,
and lean not by any means with your elbows, not by ravenous gesture discover a voracious
appetite; knaw no bones, but cut your meat decently with the help of your fork;
make no noise in calling for anything you want, but speak softly to those that
are next, or wait to give it; not be so disingenuous as to shew your dislike of
anything that is before you, if strangers be at the table; especially at
another’s table; eat not your spoon-meat so hot that it makes your eyes water,
nor be seen to blow it. Complain not of a queasy stomach; wipe your spoon every
time you dip it in the dish’ if you eat spoon-meat with others, eat not too
fast, nor unseemly, neither be nice or curious at the table by mincing or
mimping, as if you liked not the meat or the company; where you see variety,
yet reach not after them, but stay till you have an opportunity, and them shew
an indifferency as to your choice; and if it chance to happen you have a plate
with some pice you fancy not presented, wait your opportunity till it be taken
away and changed; nor be inquisitive (for that is not comely) to know what such
a fowl or joynt cost, nor discourse of Bills of Fare; take not in your wine or
other liquor too greedily, nor drink till you are out of breath, but do things
with decency and order.
If you are abroad at Dinner, let
not your hand be first in any dish, nor take your place unseemly; neither be
induced to carve, though the Mistress of the House out of a Compliment
intreat it, unless you see a necessity
for it; and wherever you carve, keep your fingers from your mouth; throw not
anything over your shoulder, neither take or give anything on that side where a
Person of Quality, or one much above
you, is seated, nor reach your arms over dishes to reach at what you
like better.
Cut your meat handsomely and he not
over desirous of sauce, nor of another sort of meant, before you have disposed
or what of what is on your place. Put not both your hands to your mouth at
once, not eat too greedily; let not your mouth or fingers be greasy no more
than you must; and when you are satisfied, take your plate or trencher with
you, or give it to those that wait, and retire, but not out of the room till
grace is said and the cloth taken away; at what time making your obeisance, you
may depart, unless you are desired to stay.
There are admonitions too,
concerning a gentlewoman’s walk and carriage, which the athletic maidens of
to-day would be well advised to study and bring into harmony with present
conditions:
In this case observe that you walk
not carelessly or lightly, shouldering, as it were, your companions, not
strutting nor jutting in a proud manner; keep (in your walk) your head steady,
your countenance not too much elevated nor dejected; keep your arms likewise
steady, and throw them not about as if you were flying; let your feet rather
incline a little more inward then outward, lest you be censured splay-footed;
for by the motion of the body, the thoughts of the mind may be discovered; as
whether the party be of loose or proud behavior, or humble and complacent.
Then follows advice with thoughts
of a seemly bearing in the use of the eyes;
Keep your eyes within compass; that
is, let them not be too much fixed upon idle and vain objects; - nor stare men
in the face as if you were looking at babies; as often as opportunity will
permit, lift up your eyes, to your Redeemer and, with holy David, implore him
to TURN THEM AWAY FROM VANITY: for the eyes being the windows of the soul, lets
in Good or Evil, according as it fixes, or is intent upon good or bad objects: therefore,
chose the former, and refuse the latter.
Our “new women” would probably take
exception to the instructions to a young gentlewoman, when married, how to
carry and behave herself toward her husband, etc. as becomes a virtuous wife,
but the charm of the old-time language makes beautiful and convincing the ideal
of wifely duty, which we like to believe was lived up to in the world of long
ago.
Above all things repine not at your
lot when it is fallen to your share, but weigh your condition in the scale of
content and discretion, and it will be better supported.
If your husband be very young, and
given to excursions incident to youthful frailty, let your riper experience
bring him to a better understanding, and your usage more easy, then to attempt
by extremities to wean him from what he affects; but rather let your good
example, modest reprovements, and the course of time work upon his headstrong nature; and either
through his shame, or a reform of judgement, he will be brought to himself; for
doubtless conjugal duty, tempered with softness and affability, is of force to
conquest the morosest temper.
If your husband is exalted in the
world by Riches or Honor, let not your mind be puffed up. Though after marriage
you find yourself not so happy in the things of this world, as your expected;
but that, on the contrary, you are griped with the pinching hand of poverty,
let the poor condition of your husband add to your virtue, in furnishing you
with patience and meekness; for there is not that dangerous want, some imagine,
where there wants no content.
Be peaceable and pleasant towards
your husband, not angry when he is at any time so, but pacific with winning and
obliging words; and if you should carelessly, or otherwise, raise him to a
passion, be not long ere you apply yourself to appease it, by shewing a regret
or kind relenting, for what has occasioned it, or by sound reason let him
understand his error; and prepare with is necessary for him in due order, with
all imaginable neatness and advantage;
shewing above all things respect to his friends and relations, whether abroad
or at home, which must of necessity create in him a greater portion of Love and
Respect for yourself.
As for you children, bring them up
in the fear of God, and in duty and obedience to yourselves that is may be well
for them and their posterity; for those are the endearing pledges of Connubial
Love, that more nearly cement the hearts of Man and Wife, and re the sum of
their earthly felicity.
So live, that the springs of Love,
if not Prosperity, may ever flow to water your Hearts with Joy, and render Life
comfortable; and you thereby be the better enable to serve your “Maker”. ~ The
New York Times, 17 May 1908
Silly and sad how important they considered the truly frivolous rules, to the point of danger or even death.
ReplyDeleteWonderful post!
ReplyDelete